Lent and me

I was sitting in Mass today after receiving ashes and thinking “what is Lent?”

Lent actually means “spring”, which is kind of interesting. Coming out of winter to the rebirth of life all around us…. The analogy to the Jesus’s death and His Resurrection on Easter is clear.

We all know that Lent is a time for Prayer, Fasting and giving Alms. We give up things or try to add good things to our lives. All good and important stuff.

But then I started thinking deeper. What is Lent to me? Why do I feel called to make this a different time?

I was staring at the Crucifix high up on the alter when it occurred to me.  Jesus suffered the worst kind of death, torture, humiliation, abandonment, unimaginable pain.  Not just for all of us… but for me.

Some piece of that suffering belongs to me. Why? Because He loves me so much that He wants me to be with Him. He has given me a chance. He loves me so much that He took on all my sins, everything that I have done and will ever do. All He asks in return is that I ask for forgiveness.    How is that even remotely fair?  He gave His life and that is  what he wants in return?

And then I started thinking. If I really believe that, then when was the last time I thanked him for it. When was the last time we sat down and had a real heart to heart. Sure, I pray a lot, but most of my prayers have something to do with asking for something. I’m talking about a real two way conversation in prayer.

That’s when it occurred to me that maybe this was supposed to be the meaning of Lent.  He is calling me into a deeper relationship with Him. And how do I get there? Through two way prayers, listening in silence and quieting my mind. Listening for his voice. Opening my heart to the Holy Spirit. And doing active things, like- Reading  snippets of Scripture and the many assorted books and writings all around me; Contemplating the Saints I love; Really attending Mass. Not just being there. We are called to fast at certain times but I want to skip a meal or meals to feel that hunger pain, not to be exalted in some way, but as I reminder of His sacrifice.

What is Lent —-  All focusing on one thing. Putting Jesus at the forefront of my life. Making Him my best friend, my Savior. And somewhere in each day of this Lent … remember the sacrifice He made for me.